


we survived

by hey_you_with_the_face



Series: you didn't see verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nanny, Awkward Sex Talk, Dad Castiel, Dad Dean, M/M, bartholomew - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 17:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6619540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hey_you_with_the_face/pseuds/hey_you_with_the_face
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For staunchlyblue, I hope this is what you were looking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we survived

The first clue that Castiel had that something was amiss in his universe was the sharp sound of a slammed car door through the open windows. He had opened all the windows this morning since it was his turn to clean and it was easier to deal with the tasks when there was a pleasant breeze wafting through the house.

The open windows also helped him pick up on the second clue that something was wrong, the raised voices that were getting closer and closer to the house. The first voice, which was very obviously angry, seemed to belong to Claire while the second voice, which was no less upset, was his husband Dean’s. 

Castiel paused in his mopping the kitchen floor, head tilted to the side in confusion. When Dean and Claire had left this morning to do a bit of shopping, Dean needed some parts for the Impala and Claire said she needed to pick up some things at the store, they had each been in a perfectly happy mood. He wondered what could have possibly happened in an hour to change that.

“I don’t see what the big deal is Dad,” Claire’s annoyed voice echoed through the hall. Castiel could hear the thud of the clunky boots their seventeen year old had insisted on wearing lately. 

“And that is exactly the problem, Claire!” Dean’s gruff voice replied angrily. 

There was a slam as the door was shut on the heels of Dean’s response which was the final clue that Castiel needed to confirm that something was definitely wrong. Dean hated it when doors were slammed. He put down the mop and went into the living-room, bracing himself for the potential battle.

Claire and Dean were standing practically nose to nose by the stairs, well as much as they could with their foot of height difference, and glaring daggers at each other. Experience had taught Castiel that this situation had the potential to be extremely bad.

“So,” Castiel said, making an effort to sound upbeat yet soothing, “What’s seems to be the issue here?"

Dean broke off the staring match with their daughter and soon both of them were leveling angry glares at him.

Claire responded immediately, “Dad is being an uptight prude!”

“According to our daughter, not a damn thing apparently!” Dean exclaimed at the same time. 

Castiel could see all the warning signs that his husband and daughter were going to explode; he needed to defuse this. Taking a deep breath, he went over to his spouse and child and stood between them. They continued to glare at each other over his shoulder.

“Claire, why don’t you go up to your room? I’ll be up to hear your side in a minute after I talk to Dad,” he said carefully. Claire rolled her eyes, a habit that she obviously picked up from her Aunt Meg, and turned with an exaggerated sigh to stomp up the stairs to her room, muttering something about uptight dads and never getting to talk about her side. Castiel took another cleansing breath, he turned back to look at his husband.

Dean was still putting of waves of fury but he looked decidedly less murderous so Castiel pulled him in for a hug, hoping to calm him down. At first it was like hugging a rock but soon some of the tension started to seep out of the other man, not a lot of it but enough that Castiel thought it would be okay to approach whatever the hell that happened to cause this meltdown. Soon Dean started to hug back and they stood there for a minute before Dean spoke.

“I caught Claire trying to shoplift condoms with some help from that asshole Bart kid,” Dean growled. Castiel froze; of all the things that could lead to a shouting match between Dean and Claire, he wasn’t expecting this.

He pulled away so he could look up at Dean, his eyes wide in shock. “She was doing what?!”

The next few minutes were spent sitting side by side on the sofa while Dean told him how, after he had gotten his car parts, he went to the store to pick up Claire; he had dropped her off since she didn’t want to go with him to the auto parts store. Dean had gone into the store to find her since he had left his phone at the house and by some sort of dumb luck happened upon their daughter and her boyfriend Bart, both of whom were acting very sketchy. He had taken a second to see what they were up to when he saw Bart slip a box in Claire’s purse. Shoplifting was bad enough but just as he was going to bust them, Dean noticed what aisle they were in.

“I watched our sweet little girl shoplift condoms in the middle of a drugstore sex aisle with that little punk,” Dean said hotly. "Can't wait to get my hands on that little weasel boy, he took off running as soon as he saw me."

Dean had never been a fan of Claire's current boyfriend, or any of her past suitors really, but Castiel had always chalked that up to his husband's overprotective nature. Castiel tended to reserve judgement though he did observe the boys who dated his daughter very closely, just to be safe. He had thought Bart was an okay kid, maybe a bit snotty and rebellious, but he hadn't expect this.

"It's probably best he ran off," Castiel said, rubbing Dean's thigh in a comforting gesture, "Beating up a kid is frowned upon in this society, even if he is trying to shoplift condoms so he can have sex with our daughter."

Huffing a reluctant laugh, Dean nodded his head in agreement and leaned back onto the couch, dragging Castiel with him. "But it would've made me feel better."

"I know, babe," Castiel replied, his response muffled by Dean's chest, "But look, you're feeling better already." He reached up to cup his husband's decidedly calm face as evidence. "Besides, we have bigger things to worry about now unfortunately."

Dean looked down at him in confusion, "Like what, Cas?"

Castiel took a second to brace himself for what he was about to say because, quite frankly, the idea had him terrified and embarrassed at the same time. He told his husband what they now had to do in light of today's events. Dean's eyes bugged out of his head in terror.

"We have to give Claire the sex talk?!" Dean exclaimed loudly before blushing at how loud he'd shouted and lowered his voice to a harsh whisper, "Haven't I suffered enough today?!"

Castiel rolled his eyes at his spouse's dramatics, okay maybe Meg wasn't totally to blame for Claire's ocular habits, and waited patiently for Dean to stop sputtering. "Obviously today's events show Claire thinks she is ready to have sex. It's our job to make sure she isn't being pressured into it and that she is being safe," he explained matter of factly.

"She shouldn't be having sex at all, she's only seventeen for crying out loud," Dean continued in his angry whisper.

“And as Claire’s father, I feel the same way because she will always be my little girl,” Castiel responded. He paused, trying to think how to phrase his argument but decided to be blunt, “However, it would be hypocritical on my part to tell her that you shouldn’t have sex at that age since I did exactly that when I was young but I’m sure you were a complete and utter virgin at seventeen, weren’t you Dean?”

Dean’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly and his face turned an interesting shade of red. After a minute of this, a look crossed Dean’s face that Castiel knew meant the other man had settled on an idea that he believed would win him the argument so he arched an eyebrow in challenge. 

His husband endured this stare for two minutes before folding like a cheap suit. 

“Okay, you’re right,” he sighed bitterly before pointing a finger at Castiel, “But that doesn’t mean that I’m happy about this.”

Castiel rolled his eyes, “Nobody is happy about being forced to give their child the sex talk but it’s our duty as parents.” Dean groaned and flopped his head onto the back of the sofa.

“Can’t we farm this duty out to Charlie and Meg like we did with the,” Dean paused to shudder before saying, “Period talk?”

That thought had crossed Castiel’s mind as soon as he realized that, due to the unique events of the day, it was time to have this particular talk with Claire but he had grudgingly dismissed it. They could justify asking Charlie and Meg to talk to Claire about menstruation since quite frankly, he and Dean had no clue what they hell went on with that being men and all. This was not the case with this talk, this talk had to be given by her parents. He told this to Dean and the other man unenthusiastically agreed.

They made their way upstairs, deciding to just grit their teeth and get it over with for the sake of everyone involved. Castiel paused outside of Claire’s door, raised a hand to knock and gave Dean one last determined look before knocking and calling their daughter’s name softly. At the sound of a muffled “come in”, he opened the door.

Claire was sprawled out on her bed, texting on her phone and leveling the typical annoyed teenage scowl at them. Castiel pulled the computer chair from Claire’s desk over so it faced the bed and sat down while Dean decided to stand behind him, hands resting on his shoulders. By the time he was settled, Claire had moved so she was sitting up at the edge of the bed. No one spoke.

“Your father told me that he caught you and Bart shoplifting,” Castiel started to say before Claire’s mouth opened angrily to argue, “But, we’ll discuss the punishment for that later. Our main concern at the moment is what you two were attempting to steal.” For all her bluster and teenage rebellion, his daughter just blushed at the mention of the condoms.

Trying to recover from her own embarrassment, Claire set her face into an expression of disgust and crossed her arms. “Oh god, you two are going to give me the sex talk aren’t you? This is so embarrassing.”

“No offense honey,” Dean said patronizingly, “But apparently you weren’t grossed out by the idea of sex when you and that punk were stealing rubbers so I don’t think you get to be now.” Castiel turned to give him a warning look. There was no need to make this situation even worse than it already was just because his husband was still angry about the incident at the store.

This comment did temper Claire’s attitude a bit so Castiel took this opportunity to say his hastily thrown together speech. He moved over to sit next to Claire on the bed, Dean followed shortly to sit at her other side.

“Sweetie, we know that in this day and age you probably know quite a bit about sex, probably more than your dad and I knew at your age” he began, a statement that caused Dean to choke on air in embarrassed shock. After giving his spouse a moment to collect himself, Castiel continued, “By your attempted thievery at the grocery store, it’s apparent you’re trying to be safe since you know the potential consequences of having sex: pregnancy, STDs and all the things you’ve learned about in health class so I’m not going to lecture you on that. What worries Dad and I is whether you are ready for this.”

Claire opened her mouth to speak but Castiel cut her off with a gesture.

“Let me finish,” he explained before going on, “Sex is very intimate, you have to very sure you can trust the person you’re with and I’m not just talking about this first time either.” Claire’s face flushed with embarrassment again at the mention of the loss of virginity. 

Dean finally broke his silence and added his input. “You’re father is right, now this is probably going to gross you out but think about it, you’re letting another person inside your body,” All three of them cringed a bit at the blunt phrasing but Dean continued speaking, “It can be an extremely exposing, emotion-wise. Are you emotionally ready to share something like that?” 

There was a moment of silence before Claire sighed and slumped so she was leaning against Castiel, shaking her head. Castiel wrapped an arm around her shoulder and stroked her long blonde hair while Dean rubbed her back soothingly.

“That’s what I thought,” Castiel mumbled into her hair. “This is why we encourage you to wait until you’re older before you consider taking that step with someone and be sure that it’s someone you can trust, not some boy you’ve been seeing for four months and who talks you into stealing condoms.”

She gently pushed herself upright and threw her arms around Castiel’s neck, pulling him in for a hug. Castiel smiled slightly at the gesture.

“Hey what about Dad?” Dean said with just a hint of a whine evident in his voice, “I was part of this talk too.” They looked over and saw Dean sitting with his arm crossed and a fake pout on his face. Castiel chuckled at his husband’s antics.

Claire laughed and used the arm closest to Dean to pull her other dad into the group hug. They sat there for a few minutes before they broke apart, no one spoke. Finally Claire broke the silence.

“Thank you Dad, thank you Daddy,” she said to each of them. “I hadn’t really thought about all that before, I guess I’m not ready for something like that yet.”

Castiel heaved a mental sigh of relief. “Good, that’s what Dad and I set out to accomplish. Now,” he said, clapping his hands as he and Dean stood up and faced her, “Obviously you are grounded for a month for attempted theft and if I ever see Bartholomew again, I will personally see that he is covered in honey and tied to an anthill.”

Not expecting this abrupt change in subject and tone, Dean snorted in laughter while Claire made a sound of protest. Castiel would brook no argument; he told Claire that the shoplifting punishment was well deserved and that he felt that Bart’s offenses justified a parental ban on Claire’s interactions with him. Eventually Claire reluctantly agreed. After interpreting a strange prompting look from Dean, Castiel also told her that if in the future she had questions about sex and she couldn’t make herself ask him or Dean, to at least talk to Aunt Meg, Aunt Jess or her honorary Aunt Charlie; she agreed to this more readily and soon they left her to her privacy.

They made their way downstairs and sat on the sofa, not saying a word. They remained silent for several minutes before Dean turned to Castiel and grinned.

“Well, check off ‘survive awkward sex talk’ off of our parenting to do list Cas,” he said cheerfully and raised his hand in a high five motion. 

Castiel chuckled and rolled his eyes, marveling at his husband’s absolute dorkiness, but obligingly high fived him because Dean was right. They had indeed survived.

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually somewhat difficult for me to write because my parents never actually gave me an awkward sex talk, I just sort of gleaned their opinions on sex from random conversations (usually ones about tv shows). So I guess I tried to think what I would tell my imaginary daughter which basically sums up to "I'd like to to at least be in college, be safe and I want you to find someone you trust and can laugh with because quite frankly, sex is weird and if you aren't laughing about and having fun with it, you're doing it wrong" which I hope I captured here.


End file.
